A Visitor's Guide to the Real Australia - part 2
Wherever you go in the great outdoors of Australia, remember to slip-slop-slap: that means slip on a shirt, slop on sun screen and slap on a hat. No-one will think you a woos, because we all do it. Avoid taking your lead from those bronzed galahs cooking on the beach - they seem to forget that this is the skin-cancer capital of the world; and if they don't cop the big C, they'll wind up looking like dried prunes before they hit fifty! Plus, to drive off those pesky flies and mozzies, use a good brand of insect repellant like Aeroguard containing DEET and you'll be able to keep on keeping on.
I hope all of this hasn't put you off coming. As a rule, we are fairly civilised, although we may quite possibly have a lend of you because we enjoy a good laugh; but this will be with the best of intentions and shouldn't be taken seriously. We don't take kindly to those mongrels who upset or rip-off our visitors - that would be considered very un-Australian. We really would like to see you and, above all, want you to have the time of your life, maybe even come back for a second serve.
Colloquialisms used in the above text:
Akubra: the brand name of a popular wide-brimmed hat made known internationally by golfer, Greg Norman. Also frequently used to describe any other make of a similar style.
Australian wave: a sideways flapping of the hand in front of the face to ward off flies.
bogged: usually referring to a vehicle stuck in soft sand or mud. Also applied to people inundated with work or problems (bogged down by work).
(old) Bomb: a vehicle well past its use-by date and extremely unreliable.
Brass razoo: made from cheap metal and not even a coin of the realm, it is consequently worthless. Anything said to be "not worth a brass razoo" is of no value and something only a mug would buy.
Buckley's (chance): most unlikely to succeed or eventuate. I'm not sure who Buckley was, but he would seem to have been a very unlucky person!
(going) Bush: (getting) away from habitation and into areas of native flora, forests, etc. Can also be used to describe someone forsaking civilisation to live alone in such places.
Bush-bashing: driving off-road and through bushland where there are no established tracks, usually to the detriment of the flora and the general environment. It is a popular pastime, yet understandably frowned on by many Australians.
Bush flies: not to be confused with ordinary flies which are simply a pest. Bush flies are about the same size, sometimes identifiable by their striped marking, and you'll know one's around when it bites! They are more common out of town and have an annoying habit of frequenting roadside pull-ins where they wait unseen until the car door is opened. Treat any bite with antiseptic cream or lotion and seek medical advice if it causes an allergic reaction.
Cark it: die, give up the ghost.
(to) Charge like a wounded bull: charge an exorbitant fee or amount, overcharge, rip-off.
Cocky: a farmer. Also any type of cockatoo.
Cop it sweet: accept what has occured, take it on the chin, just forget about it and move on.
Cop-shop: police station, lock-up. Not every town has one and the really remote regions are serviced by those in the more populated areas. An emergency call (000) will ensure assistance, but it could take some time before anyone reaches the scene.
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